The first year of marriage I was cruel and not so unusual to my husband. I pulled the most common April Fool’s prank on him. We had only been married for two weeks that first frightful April Fool’s Day. He was just getting home from work as I was getting out of the shower. I had pre-planned this prank by getting my hands on a positive pregnancy test. Yeeeah… I had my boss’s pregnant daughter pee on a stick for me, so that was a little weird. Maybe I could’ve just drawn an extra line on a pregnancy test, but whatever. It was legit. I was so nervous my hands were shaking. I wasn’t sure how my newbie hubby would handle the prank, but I couldn’t back down now. I had too much invested in this. When I finally got the nerve to open the bathroom door I didn’t even have to say anything. Steve recognized what was in my hand. My Caucasian white husband turned albino white. I went to hug him so that in case he fainted I could catch him. We were not trying to get pregnant so he did his very best to cough up some enthusiasm. “Really? . . . That’s great!” Bless his heart. I stepped back and nervously whispered, “April Fool’s.” He ran into the family room and curled up into a fetal position on the couch. He was traumatized. I followed him, and when I kneeled down and reached out to touch his arm he yelled, “Don’t touch me!” He apparently got over it, because 4-months later we purposefully got pregnant.
The second year of marriage I was relentless. On April Fool’s Day I was in my third trimester of pregnancy. It was a Sunday and we were visiting a new church. My bum was going numb from all the extra weight sitting on it, so I got up to use the bathroom. While in the stall I got the ingenious idea to text Steve, in the middle of the church service, that my water broke. I thought about pouring water on my pants to make it more believable, but I decided not to. I didn’t want to cause a ruckus in case anybody else saw me. When Steve received the text he said he jumped over people in the rows and came bounding into the lobby. He found me right outside the church doors. When he saw my calm demeanor he knew he had been got. He wouldn’t speak to me the whole ride home.
This April Fool’s Day I again told my husband I feel like I’m pregnant. But this time I was not joking. I believe God is trying to grow something inside me. No, I’m not talking about a human baby. Sorry friends to disappoint you (or maybe relieve you). I’m not growing a worm or a tumor either, at least I hope not! I feel like God wants to use me to give birth to something. You are at this very second looking at the ultrasound. These words. I don’t know what my baby is going to look like, whether it’s going to be an actual book or just a blog that reaches a few people, but I do believe God told me to write so here I am. It doesn’t even matter that I have absolutely no clue how to have a book published. It’s interesting, recently I have ran into a couple of different authors. It reminds me of when I was pregnant I could recognized another pregnant person a mile away.
You might be pregnant too you know. What? You don’t have a uterus? That doesn’t matter! Let’s take a pregnancy test: Do you feel like God is stretching you? Do you feel like God is asking you to do something that is out of your comfort zone? Ask any mother and they will agree that pregnancy stretches you and that awkward (but beautiful!) belly can be very uncomfortable. To me, writing is uncomfortable. I’m putting myself out there to be judged. It feels awkward to be writing as if I have the ability to speak into other people’s lives. I had to ask God if it was prideful. I prayed about it and I kept coming to the conclusion that if God told me to write and I refused then that’s just me doubting God’s power to be able use me. I came across this verse today:
“But let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,’ declares the LORD. “ Jeremiah 9:24.
I can do that! I have to be careful though, because anything that God wants to bring life to Satan wants to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). Satan will feed us any lie he can to convince us to abort our babies. One of his favorite lies is: “This is bad timing.” There will never be a perfect time to have a baby, but God’s timing is perfect. Another common lie is: “You’re not good enough.” Just like a soon-to-be-mom will doubt her ability to raise a child (if she doesn’t while she’s pregnant she certainly will if after the baby is born!) Satan will try to tell you your not good enough to do whatever Christ is leading you to do. “It is irrational.” *It might seem irresponsible to give birth to a new project, a new job, a new ______. Guess what though, God is not rational. He is radical!
I’m going to take this word picture a step further, but don’t think I’m being twisted . . . In order to get spiritually pregnant . . . you have to be spiritually intimate with God. You have to be willing. He’s not going to force Himself on you. God is for life but you have choice whether or not you want to carry it through. You can listen to Satan and abort what God is growing in you or you can glow in knowing that you are in God’s will. It will not always be comfortable (not to mention the pains of actual labor!) But guess what!? God is an awesome baby daddy! He will walk with you through every trimester. He will come to every appointment, and He will not leave you when the baby is born.
When you hold your spiritual baby for the first time you will be able to look back and see how God was in it all. Every pain, every discomfort, it will all be worth it. Like I tell my pregnant friends: You got this! You are beautiful! I’m so excited for you!
*Disclaimer- Don’t come to me if you quit your job and can’t pay your morgage. I don’t know your situation or what God is asking you to do. That is between you and God (and your spouse if you’re married). All I know is that if God asks you to do something you won’t regret obeying Him.